I meant to write this a few days ago but ran out of time.
People come and go in our life for one reason or another. They leave their footprint on our heart. They don't stay for forever even though we wish they would. We can get upset at God for taking them away or we can rejoice that they made a difference.
4 years ago a man known to me as my Grandpa walked through the gates of heaven. He not only was a huge part of my life but a large part of many others. It seems that only yesterday he left as well as it seems like years that he has been gone.
I have many fond memories of my Grandpa. He and Grandma use to have a Black Lab, Duchess, andn I use to be terrified of dogs when I was 8 years old. I hated them coming within 10 feet of me because I thought they were going to hurt me. Grandpa told me when we stayed with them for a week that Duchess wouldn't hurt me. He told me that all she wanted to do was be my friend and smell my hands to say hi. If I kept my hands down then she wouldn't jump and I didn't need to be afraid. He helped show me how to be calm. It worked. He helped in my getting over my fear of dogs, which lead to my not being afraid of larger animals.
Being the oldest frandchild was full of new experiences. I was the first grandchild to go off to college. I went to Northwestern College. A small Christian college in Orange City, IA (Holland, MI's sister city). My first year was fine. The second school year, much unfolded all too quickly. I had been at school for maybe 2 weeks. My mother called me at 6:45am central time on Saturday Sept. 2, 2006. I was still in bed so I was caught a little off guard. She told me that Grandpa was in the hospital because he had had a stroke a day before. The stroke caused him to bleed into his brain but it was too deep for the doctors to do anything besides give him medicine and it would be a miracle if he pulled through it alive. I knew right away that I had to get back home even if I was 800 miles away. I woke my RA, Kayla, up and told her what was going on. She told me that if I needed to get home for a funeral that I could drive her car. I got a call at 7pm that same day from mom. Grandpa had died peacefully. I remember that night I went outside away from everyone and cried out under the stars. I remembered the weekend before I had left for school that year we had Sunday dinner with Grandma and Grandpa. That was the last time I ever saw him. He was always concerned about my faith and coming to know the Lord as my Savior. I told Kayla that I needed to get home and she handed me the keys and I left the next morning for home.
Grandpa also started the small Christian school where I went to elementary school so his grandchildren could go to a school and learn about the Lord. He loved leading others to the Lord.
Finally 23 years of my life have gone by and I came to know the Lord. I wish so much that he could be here with me so I could tell him. But then I remember that he has been with me through it all. I also wish that he could be here to meet the man that God has brough into my life. The man who I have been waiting for. The man who I believe God has chosen for me. But I remember again that he has been watching from the heavens.
Thank you Grandpa for being who you are. You are loved so much. You may think that you didn't make a difference, but look around at all who were changed because of you. You have touched lives all across the world. As your oldest grandchild, I only wish I could be as least half the influencial person you were when I leave this earth. Your footprints are a large spot to fill.
~Rachel
Monday, September 6, 2010
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Here is Chapter 2
Here is the next installment of the book Riding on the Wings of Horses. Hope that you enjoy it =) It is about half of chapter 2.
Chapter 2
Angel closed her cell phone confused by the call from Rylee. What could Miles have put in an envelope for her? She had no clue. She wiped the tears from her eyes and looked at her house, it had not been cleaned in a few weeks, papers scattered her table, a piles of laundry sat in the family room, and boxes were stacked in the spare bedroom. "Oye girl, what has become of this place?" she said to herself. "You better get cleaning because Ry anad Steph are coming." She tried to encourage hersef just like Miles use to do when she wanted to give up. It just wasn't the same because he use to come up behind her and wrap his arms around her and tell her she was beautiful even if everything else was a mess, but she knew he wanted things clean and that always seemed to give her the extra push to get things done.
Angel walked to the family room and put a cd in the stereo system, it was one fo the rodeo mixes that her and Miles put together when they would drive to the rodeos or played while they were warming up. The first song that came on was Reckless by Aaron Watson. It made Angel smile because when this song came on the stereo got cranked up - it didn't matter who was in control of it, the volume always wen tsky high. This sparked Angel to get cleaning because she knew she had company coming in several hours.
The next song that came on was Ghost Riders in The Sky by the legendary Johnny Cash. Miles put this one on for Angel when she would do her showeing of the horses in the arena. Angel loved this song, it made her daydream about what it would have been like to be a cowgirl back in the days when the streets where dust and the cowboys came riding down the street with a herd of cattle. She grabbed the vacuum and started cleaning as she imagined that the dirt in her house was from the dusty road. Angel was lost in her own world until her cell phone rang. It was Stephanie.
"Hey girl" Angel said in a surprised tone. "How are you doing?"
"I'm doing alright, what about you?" Questioned STephanie as she noticed Angel's semi-upbeat mood.
"I could be better, but right now, I was just daydreaming about my Wild West adventure."
"You are a crazy cowgirl Angel" teased Stephanie. "By the way girl, Rylee and I are on our way, we should be there in about 7 more hours."
"Awesomeness, I can't wait to see you again!" Angel closed her cell phone and heard the music change. The song changed to one that Miles put on without her knowing because she couldn't remember this song ever playing. Cowgirl's Don't Cry by Brooks and Dunn. Hmm, she thought to herself, why would he put this on here? Angel kept putting laundry away and straightening up the family room and realized that the words to the song were so true, she couldn't cry now, she had to get back up on her hourse and keep riding strong just like she had always done. The last bit of the song Miles had recorded his voice singing the last time through the chorus "Cowgirl don't cry, ride baby ride, lessons in life show us in time, to soon God will let you know why, if you fall get right back on, the good Lord calls everybody home, Cowgirl don't cry." At this point tears were streaming down her cheeks, she realized that Miles was gone but he wanted her to be the strong cowgirl that she was, the strong cowgirl that he had fallen in love with almost 2 years ago.
Angel fell asleep for several hours, she woke up to her cell phone ringing. It was Rylee. What could he want right nonw? Then she remembered he was coming up here!
"Hello?!"
"Angel calm down, I just wanted to tell ya we are pulling onto your street we are going to be at your place in just a few moments."
Angel walked over to the window while Rylee was talking and she saw the tan Chevy pickup driving down the road. "I see ya right now" Angel said with a smile in her voice.
Stephanie hopped out of the truck and ran and hugged Angel as Angel ran out of the house to see them. Rylee just smiled as he watched the girls embrace just like they were sisters from the beginning of time. "Angel can I put theses in the spare bedroom?"
"Yes Ry, it is all set for you and Steph" answered Angel still overcome that Stephanie and Rylee were here.
The girls followed Rylee into the house. Rylee put their things in the bedroom and came back out with the envelope. "Angel, this is for you."
Angel carefully took the envelope from Rylee and studied the beautiful handwriting that said her name on the front and she knew it could only be Miles' handwriting. She carefully opened the envelope and took the pieces of paper that were neatly folded inside.
My Dear Angel,
I wanted to give you this letter in person but it seems as though that is nont the case. Things are hard for you, I know, trust me. You are such a strong person, I know that you will be able to take on any and every challenge set before you which is why I am writing this letter to you. If I am no longer around to take care of the ranch and the horses, I am giving George, Misty's colt, to you. I know you will give him all the tender loving care he could ever need and more. I am also giving you Destiny, Maygen's filly.
At this point I'm sure you are at a loss of what to say and doubting that you could ever accept this gift. Darlin' please care for these horses, I wanted to give them to you myself once we got engaged, but if you are reading this we never made it that far for one reason or another.
Those horses havae been loved by both you and me since the day they were born, and I will come back to you each time you work with them and spend time with them.
Caring for animals is costly which is why I have covered all of the costs for feed, vet bills, and tack that you will ever need to use with George and Destiny. Enclosed is a valid certificate that you need to keep with the horses whereever you go so that you will be able to use it if the vet comes or replenish feed or head to Tractor Supply Co. for anything else you might need. Everything is alal set for you. Also enclosed are the registration papers for each horse all you need to do is sign them next to my signature and everything will be official.
Thank you baby girl. Know that I will always be with you. I will always be watching over you. I love you.
Love,
Miles J. Keith
The letter had been written on Miles' favorite horse stationary that he only use for important occasions. Angel froze as she held the letter in her hand. She thought to herself 'I can't take these horses, it isn't right, it will just make everything harder on me.' Rylee must have either read her facial expression or new something was up "Angel, what is it? What does the letter say?" Angel handed him the letter asa she pulled a chair out from along side the table so she could sit down. She covered her face with her hands while she waited for Rylee to finish reading the letter.
"Angel" was all Rylee could say because any other words that could possibly be said left his head. He walked over and the letter on the table and stood behind her as he placed his hands on her shoulders the same protective way he had seen his brother do when Angel was upset.
Tears welled up in Angel's eyes as she began to sob into her hands. Reading Miles' handwriting was like he was talking to her and that was more than she could handle. She cried for several minutes. Rylee did all he could to comfort her, but it didn't seem to work. He knew that she could tell the difference between his hands and his brother's hands even if they were on her shoulders.
Stephanie pulled a chair close to Angel, as she did this she gave Rylee the 'let me handle this' look. Rylee released his hands and walked around the table and sat down and pushed the letter in front of Stephanie. Stephanie quickly skimmed the words and gasped quietly as she looked across at Rylee. She mouthed the words 'am I reading this right?' Rylee nodded. With that Stephanie put her arms around Angel.
"There, there. Everything is alright" Stephanie calmly said to Angel.
"No it's not" Angel said between the tears that were coming non-stop. "I read that letter and heard Miles' voice clear as if he was sitting right here."
"That's because he is in your heart and he is so close to you" comforted Stephanie. Stephanie brushed the loose hair our of Angel's eyes that had fallen there since she had first opened the letter. "Miles wouldn't want to give those horses to you because he hated them. He gave them to you because he knew thata you needed him even when he was gone, just like those horses need someone to care for them. He is caring for you in a complicated and beautiful way. To be honest, I'm kind of jealous thaat you have both of those horses."
"Why are you jealous? I can't take those horses" said Angel in as firm a voice as she could while her voice was still quivering with tears.
"Yes you can, and you will" Rylee interjected. "Look back in that letter, he was planning on asking you to marry him! Would you have said no to that question?"
Angel looked down at the table when Rylee mentioned the engagement. "No, I wouldn't have said no."
"I know from living with him that he was crazy about you, and he was crazy about those 2 horses. He loved both of them and he knew that you both spent a great deal of time with them when they were born. It would be just like if you had children of your own. He is entrusting your horse-children to you. Think of it that way. He doesn't want anything to happen to them, and he knows thaat you will protect them, just like he did."
Angel looked up and listened to Rylee talk about Miles and talk about a hidden side that Angel never saw because she was up here at her house. She was intrigued. "Tell me more Ry, please."
"He was hysterical to watch every day after you left. He would go out to their pasture right by the barn and tease the horses, play with them, run with them, and he spent hours telling them stories about you." Rylee looked at Angel as he said that. Angel was caught off guard. "You mean to tell me that he told stories to those horses about me?"
"Yes" chuckled Rylee. "I thinkn he thought no one was around but I sneaked out a few differernt times and sat right inside the barn door and listened to him tell stories. The horses would lay down in the grass as he told them stories or lick his face and nicker when they thought something was funny. I had all I could do to not laugh. I don't think he ever knew that I was there. Angel, he loved you so much."
Angel studied her hands and then the paper again. "Was it true about the engagement?"
"Every word" Rylee said in confidence. "I knew he was going to ask you, because he wanted our whole family to be around that weekend he was going to ask you. Just how he was going to ask you, I don't know, he didn't tell me or ask my opinion. The only thing he aske me about was if I thought he was crazy for asking you to marry him."
"What did you tell him Ry?" Angel looked with wonder across the table at Rylee.
"I told him that he was crazy if he didn't ask you. I told him I would check under his hat if he let a beautiful little filly, like you, get away. I knew he was crazy about you. It showed when you weren't ata our house. He would space out at the dinner table or start talking out of the blue about something y'all had talked abaout on the phone earlier. Yet Angel, he was in love with you." Rylee watched Angel to see how she would take everything he said.
Angel sat in silence for a moment as Stephanie had her arms around her. She felt safe as she thought about everything she hadread in the letter and what Rylee had just said. She reached for the pen that was lying on the table, dried her eyes, and pulled the papers for George and Destiny out of the envelope. She read all the legal words even though some of them didn't makes sense to her at the moment. At the bottom of the page just as Miles had said she had to sign next to his name. She looked at his signature and realized that he ahd left room for hers. She took the pen and wrote her name next to his on George's and Destiny's papers.
The ownership of George the colt of Mystical Magic "Misty" is given to the following:
Miles Justin Keith & Angel Mae Watson
The ownership of Destiny the filly of Magenta Flower "Maygen" is given to the following:
Miles Justin Keith & Angel Mae Watson
She laid the papers on the table in front of her and Stephanie anad set the pen down. Holding tears back was about as impossible asa it gets. "There" said Angel to both Stephanie and Rylee. The corners of Rylee's mouth turned upward ever so slightly as he saw Angel sing the papers and agree to Miles' request.
"Angel, I'm proud of you" said Rylee as he got up from the table. "I brought one other thing for you." He walked into the bedroom. A few moments later he came back to the kitchen and place a large object wrapped in tissue paper on the table in front of Angel. She looked up at him in confusion.
"What is this Ry?"
"Just open it" Rylee asked in a soft tone as he lookekd into Angel's eyes trying to read her even though he couldn't read her very well. He thought to himself that his brother must have had that extra sense inside him to understand this amazing woman because he for sure couldn't. All he knew was that her heart was broken into a million pieces right now and it was up to him and Stephanie to help her hold it together.
"Okay..." Angel said slowly as she picked up the object Rylee had set before her. She looked at the silver colored tissue paper and found the seam where it had been taped on the back. Very carefully she slide her fingers under part of the paper at the seam and undid the tape causing the paper to come off the object. The paper slid to the floor as Angel gasped seeing what the object was.
"Rylee, it's..." her voice trailed off. It was the picture from Miles' room from their 1 year anniversary. Angel ran her fingers over the glass of the picture tracing over her, Miles and Misty. Could this be what she thought it was? Sure she remembered the picture being taken and seeing it hang in Miles' room but she didn't have this picture of them. Tears started to form in her eyes as she studied Miles' smiling face as well as her own, and how protectively he had his arms wrapped around her waist while they sat on Misty.
Angel closed her eyes and pulled the picture to her chest as if it was the most valuable item in the world. It was to her. As she leaned back in her chair and against Stephanie's arm, Angel let her mind travel back to that warm August Afternoon. She only remembered getting on Misty and taking a ride that seemed like a second in time and then having the picture taken. Why couldn't she remember any of the details? Did Miles kiss her that afternoon? Did he say "I love you'? He must haave, but she couldn't remember any of it.
Careful to not let her mental thoughts show, about the fact that she couldn't remember that day very clearly, she opened her eyes again. "Rylee. Stephanie. Thank you for bringing this up here to show me. Thank you for bringing the letter as well." Angel tried to keep it together and let tears come again.
Let me know how you like it so far!
~Rachel
Chapter 2
Angel closed her cell phone confused by the call from Rylee. What could Miles have put in an envelope for her? She had no clue. She wiped the tears from her eyes and looked at her house, it had not been cleaned in a few weeks, papers scattered her table, a piles of laundry sat in the family room, and boxes were stacked in the spare bedroom. "Oye girl, what has become of this place?" she said to herself. "You better get cleaning because Ry anad Steph are coming." She tried to encourage hersef just like Miles use to do when she wanted to give up. It just wasn't the same because he use to come up behind her and wrap his arms around her and tell her she was beautiful even if everything else was a mess, but she knew he wanted things clean and that always seemed to give her the extra push to get things done.
Angel walked to the family room and put a cd in the stereo system, it was one fo the rodeo mixes that her and Miles put together when they would drive to the rodeos or played while they were warming up. The first song that came on was Reckless by Aaron Watson. It made Angel smile because when this song came on the stereo got cranked up - it didn't matter who was in control of it, the volume always wen tsky high. This sparked Angel to get cleaning because she knew she had company coming in several hours.
The next song that came on was Ghost Riders in The Sky by the legendary Johnny Cash. Miles put this one on for Angel when she would do her showeing of the horses in the arena. Angel loved this song, it made her daydream about what it would have been like to be a cowgirl back in the days when the streets where dust and the cowboys came riding down the street with a herd of cattle. She grabbed the vacuum and started cleaning as she imagined that the dirt in her house was from the dusty road. Angel was lost in her own world until her cell phone rang. It was Stephanie.
"Hey girl" Angel said in a surprised tone. "How are you doing?"
"I'm doing alright, what about you?" Questioned STephanie as she noticed Angel's semi-upbeat mood.
"I could be better, but right now, I was just daydreaming about my Wild West adventure."
"You are a crazy cowgirl Angel" teased Stephanie. "By the way girl, Rylee and I are on our way, we should be there in about 7 more hours."
"Awesomeness, I can't wait to see you again!" Angel closed her cell phone and heard the music change. The song changed to one that Miles put on without her knowing because she couldn't remember this song ever playing. Cowgirl's Don't Cry by Brooks and Dunn. Hmm, she thought to herself, why would he put this on here? Angel kept putting laundry away and straightening up the family room and realized that the words to the song were so true, she couldn't cry now, she had to get back up on her hourse and keep riding strong just like she had always done. The last bit of the song Miles had recorded his voice singing the last time through the chorus "Cowgirl don't cry, ride baby ride, lessons in life show us in time, to soon God will let you know why, if you fall get right back on, the good Lord calls everybody home, Cowgirl don't cry." At this point tears were streaming down her cheeks, she realized that Miles was gone but he wanted her to be the strong cowgirl that she was, the strong cowgirl that he had fallen in love with almost 2 years ago.
Angel fell asleep for several hours, she woke up to her cell phone ringing. It was Rylee. What could he want right nonw? Then she remembered he was coming up here!
"Hello?!"
"Angel calm down, I just wanted to tell ya we are pulling onto your street we are going to be at your place in just a few moments."
Angel walked over to the window while Rylee was talking and she saw the tan Chevy pickup driving down the road. "I see ya right now" Angel said with a smile in her voice.
Stephanie hopped out of the truck and ran and hugged Angel as Angel ran out of the house to see them. Rylee just smiled as he watched the girls embrace just like they were sisters from the beginning of time. "Angel can I put theses in the spare bedroom?"
"Yes Ry, it is all set for you and Steph" answered Angel still overcome that Stephanie and Rylee were here.
The girls followed Rylee into the house. Rylee put their things in the bedroom and came back out with the envelope. "Angel, this is for you."
Angel carefully took the envelope from Rylee and studied the beautiful handwriting that said her name on the front and she knew it could only be Miles' handwriting. She carefully opened the envelope and took the pieces of paper that were neatly folded inside.
My Dear Angel,
I wanted to give you this letter in person but it seems as though that is nont the case. Things are hard for you, I know, trust me. You are such a strong person, I know that you will be able to take on any and every challenge set before you which is why I am writing this letter to you. If I am no longer around to take care of the ranch and the horses, I am giving George, Misty's colt, to you. I know you will give him all the tender loving care he could ever need and more. I am also giving you Destiny, Maygen's filly.
At this point I'm sure you are at a loss of what to say and doubting that you could ever accept this gift. Darlin' please care for these horses, I wanted to give them to you myself once we got engaged, but if you are reading this we never made it that far for one reason or another.
Those horses havae been loved by both you and me since the day they were born, and I will come back to you each time you work with them and spend time with them.
Caring for animals is costly which is why I have covered all of the costs for feed, vet bills, and tack that you will ever need to use with George and Destiny. Enclosed is a valid certificate that you need to keep with the horses whereever you go so that you will be able to use it if the vet comes or replenish feed or head to Tractor Supply Co. for anything else you might need. Everything is alal set for you. Also enclosed are the registration papers for each horse all you need to do is sign them next to my signature and everything will be official.
Thank you baby girl. Know that I will always be with you. I will always be watching over you. I love you.
Love,
Miles J. Keith
The letter had been written on Miles' favorite horse stationary that he only use for important occasions. Angel froze as she held the letter in her hand. She thought to herself 'I can't take these horses, it isn't right, it will just make everything harder on me.' Rylee must have either read her facial expression or new something was up "Angel, what is it? What does the letter say?" Angel handed him the letter asa she pulled a chair out from along side the table so she could sit down. She covered her face with her hands while she waited for Rylee to finish reading the letter.
"Angel" was all Rylee could say because any other words that could possibly be said left his head. He walked over and the letter on the table and stood behind her as he placed his hands on her shoulders the same protective way he had seen his brother do when Angel was upset.
Tears welled up in Angel's eyes as she began to sob into her hands. Reading Miles' handwriting was like he was talking to her and that was more than she could handle. She cried for several minutes. Rylee did all he could to comfort her, but it didn't seem to work. He knew that she could tell the difference between his hands and his brother's hands even if they were on her shoulders.
Stephanie pulled a chair close to Angel, as she did this she gave Rylee the 'let me handle this' look. Rylee released his hands and walked around the table and sat down and pushed the letter in front of Stephanie. Stephanie quickly skimmed the words and gasped quietly as she looked across at Rylee. She mouthed the words 'am I reading this right?' Rylee nodded. With that Stephanie put her arms around Angel.
"There, there. Everything is alright" Stephanie calmly said to Angel.
"No it's not" Angel said between the tears that were coming non-stop. "I read that letter and heard Miles' voice clear as if he was sitting right here."
"That's because he is in your heart and he is so close to you" comforted Stephanie. Stephanie brushed the loose hair our of Angel's eyes that had fallen there since she had first opened the letter. "Miles wouldn't want to give those horses to you because he hated them. He gave them to you because he knew thata you needed him even when he was gone, just like those horses need someone to care for them. He is caring for you in a complicated and beautiful way. To be honest, I'm kind of jealous thaat you have both of those horses."
"Why are you jealous? I can't take those horses" said Angel in as firm a voice as she could while her voice was still quivering with tears.
"Yes you can, and you will" Rylee interjected. "Look back in that letter, he was planning on asking you to marry him! Would you have said no to that question?"
Angel looked down at the table when Rylee mentioned the engagement. "No, I wouldn't have said no."
"I know from living with him that he was crazy about you, and he was crazy about those 2 horses. He loved both of them and he knew that you both spent a great deal of time with them when they were born. It would be just like if you had children of your own. He is entrusting your horse-children to you. Think of it that way. He doesn't want anything to happen to them, and he knows thaat you will protect them, just like he did."
Angel looked up and listened to Rylee talk about Miles and talk about a hidden side that Angel never saw because she was up here at her house. She was intrigued. "Tell me more Ry, please."
"He was hysterical to watch every day after you left. He would go out to their pasture right by the barn and tease the horses, play with them, run with them, and he spent hours telling them stories about you." Rylee looked at Angel as he said that. Angel was caught off guard. "You mean to tell me that he told stories to those horses about me?"
"Yes" chuckled Rylee. "I thinkn he thought no one was around but I sneaked out a few differernt times and sat right inside the barn door and listened to him tell stories. The horses would lay down in the grass as he told them stories or lick his face and nicker when they thought something was funny. I had all I could do to not laugh. I don't think he ever knew that I was there. Angel, he loved you so much."
Angel studied her hands and then the paper again. "Was it true about the engagement?"
"Every word" Rylee said in confidence. "I knew he was going to ask you, because he wanted our whole family to be around that weekend he was going to ask you. Just how he was going to ask you, I don't know, he didn't tell me or ask my opinion. The only thing he aske me about was if I thought he was crazy for asking you to marry him."
"What did you tell him Ry?" Angel looked with wonder across the table at Rylee.
"I told him that he was crazy if he didn't ask you. I told him I would check under his hat if he let a beautiful little filly, like you, get away. I knew he was crazy about you. It showed when you weren't ata our house. He would space out at the dinner table or start talking out of the blue about something y'all had talked abaout on the phone earlier. Yet Angel, he was in love with you." Rylee watched Angel to see how she would take everything he said.
Angel sat in silence for a moment as Stephanie had her arms around her. She felt safe as she thought about everything she hadread in the letter and what Rylee had just said. She reached for the pen that was lying on the table, dried her eyes, and pulled the papers for George and Destiny out of the envelope. She read all the legal words even though some of them didn't makes sense to her at the moment. At the bottom of the page just as Miles had said she had to sign next to his name. She looked at his signature and realized that he ahd left room for hers. She took the pen and wrote her name next to his on George's and Destiny's papers.
The ownership of George the colt of Mystical Magic "Misty" is given to the following:
Miles Justin Keith & Angel Mae Watson
The ownership of Destiny the filly of Magenta Flower "Maygen" is given to the following:
Miles Justin Keith & Angel Mae Watson
She laid the papers on the table in front of her and Stephanie anad set the pen down. Holding tears back was about as impossible asa it gets. "There" said Angel to both Stephanie and Rylee. The corners of Rylee's mouth turned upward ever so slightly as he saw Angel sing the papers and agree to Miles' request.
"Angel, I'm proud of you" said Rylee as he got up from the table. "I brought one other thing for you." He walked into the bedroom. A few moments later he came back to the kitchen and place a large object wrapped in tissue paper on the table in front of Angel. She looked up at him in confusion.
"What is this Ry?"
"Just open it" Rylee asked in a soft tone as he lookekd into Angel's eyes trying to read her even though he couldn't read her very well. He thought to himself that his brother must have had that extra sense inside him to understand this amazing woman because he for sure couldn't. All he knew was that her heart was broken into a million pieces right now and it was up to him and Stephanie to help her hold it together.
"Okay..." Angel said slowly as she picked up the object Rylee had set before her. She looked at the silver colored tissue paper and found the seam where it had been taped on the back. Very carefully she slide her fingers under part of the paper at the seam and undid the tape causing the paper to come off the object. The paper slid to the floor as Angel gasped seeing what the object was.
"Rylee, it's..." her voice trailed off. It was the picture from Miles' room from their 1 year anniversary. Angel ran her fingers over the glass of the picture tracing over her, Miles and Misty. Could this be what she thought it was? Sure she remembered the picture being taken and seeing it hang in Miles' room but she didn't have this picture of them. Tears started to form in her eyes as she studied Miles' smiling face as well as her own, and how protectively he had his arms wrapped around her waist while they sat on Misty.
Angel closed her eyes and pulled the picture to her chest as if it was the most valuable item in the world. It was to her. As she leaned back in her chair and against Stephanie's arm, Angel let her mind travel back to that warm August Afternoon. She only remembered getting on Misty and taking a ride that seemed like a second in time and then having the picture taken. Why couldn't she remember any of the details? Did Miles kiss her that afternoon? Did he say "I love you'? He must haave, but she couldn't remember any of it.
Careful to not let her mental thoughts show, about the fact that she couldn't remember that day very clearly, she opened her eyes again. "Rylee. Stephanie. Thank you for bringing this up here to show me. Thank you for bringing the letter as well." Angel tried to keep it together and let tears come again.
Let me know how you like it so far!
~Rachel
Thursday, July 29, 2010
question
So I have posted the first chapter along with the summary/overview of my book that I am writing. I was wondering how many of you would be interested in the next part. Please let me know!!!! I would like some feedback about it and also if you would like a list of characters etc.
~Rachel
~Rachel
Monday, July 12, 2010
Him
He came into my life just about 2 years ago, but I was oblivious to what would happen in the future. At the time I wasn't looking for a relationship or a man. But apparently God had an amazing plan in mind.
Brett has been the best thing in my life ever! This past weekend we officially finished the landscaping project at his parents house. It took 9 1/2 months to complete but we did it. This project wouldn't have taken place if it hadn't been for switching schools on my part, for being the strong woman I am and not being afraid of who I am, for trusting in the Lord that everything would be alright.
Also, Brett and I have completed the trailer remodeling project, and honestly it was a huge project that I am proud of. We were able to complete that project successfully as well.
We have made it through so much. Without him I wouldn't be where I am today. I wouldn't be the strong woman I am today. I thank the Lord everyday for him. He truly is a miracle, a blessing in disguise, the love of my life!!
~Rachel
Brett has been the best thing in my life ever! This past weekend we officially finished the landscaping project at his parents house. It took 9 1/2 months to complete but we did it. This project wouldn't have taken place if it hadn't been for switching schools on my part, for being the strong woman I am and not being afraid of who I am, for trusting in the Lord that everything would be alright.
Also, Brett and I have completed the trailer remodeling project, and honestly it was a huge project that I am proud of. We were able to complete that project successfully as well.
We have made it through so much. Without him I wouldn't be where I am today. I wouldn't be the strong woman I am today. I thank the Lord everyday for him. He truly is a miracle, a blessing in disguise, the love of my life!!
~Rachel
Monday, July 5, 2010
Romantic
So I spent the most wonderful evening with my handsome prince on July 3rd. We went out on the lake to watch the fireworks on Big Star lake and here was our gorgeous sunset after the most perfect cloudless day. What is more special than sitting out in the middle of a lake and a slight summer night breeze and the smell of warm water with the one you love? Butterflies rose through my insides while getting kissed under the fireworks and at sunset. I couldn't ask for a more amazing night and a wonderful man. So far it has been the best 9 1/2 months of my life! I love you Brett!
~Rachel
Friday, June 18, 2010
Late night thoughts
So, I can't seem to sleep tonight. It has been another night of frustration and misunderstanding among us in my household. It ended again in everyone going to bed angry and upset. I have been up for the past 2 hours trying to figure out how and when this will ever change. Part of me wonders if they just don't realize that they are controlling every part of my life.
They always say that I should go and experience all the joys of life, well I don't see any joy in the constant arguments. I feel like every time I want to do something that is outside of work then I get the reins jerked way tight. A horse only handles being pulled tight before he kicks back and everything gets out of hand. And right now I am at the point of all I can handle.
For some reason I keep just following what they say. I know I should be stronger and stand up for what I want, but that was not how I was raised. I wasn't raised to disrespect my elders decisions, I was raised to let them make the decisions and what they say is final.
I know they feel that they are losing their little girl, but honestly I am just growing up.
Matthew 18:21 talks about forgiveness and how many times we need to forgive a person for their wrong doing or any argument that may have taken place. We must forgive more times than we can count. Honestly though, I feel like every time I forgive, I am just walked all over again and again.
Will there ever be a break in my frustration. When will I be able to not have a week of having an argument or disagreement. It would be so nice to just be calm.
I must admit that having Brett come into my life has been a miracle and the biggest blessing that I have ever experienced. He has been everything that I have needed at just the right time. God knew what he was doing when he opened that door for me back in September. I thank God everyday for how my life has changed.
I just feel like my parents aren't ready for the change, but yet they still agree with the changes that have taken place thus far. So it is confusing - they want to be selfish and keep me tied up under their roof, yet they want me to try and be an individual. I wish that they wouldn't try and control me quite so much and just be alright with the fact that I am a 23 yr old and not a 5 yr old.
Prayers are needed to help me keep my head up as I push through another summer of hard stress and tension.
~Rachel
They always say that I should go and experience all the joys of life, well I don't see any joy in the constant arguments. I feel like every time I want to do something that is outside of work then I get the reins jerked way tight. A horse only handles being pulled tight before he kicks back and everything gets out of hand. And right now I am at the point of all I can handle.
For some reason I keep just following what they say. I know I should be stronger and stand up for what I want, but that was not how I was raised. I wasn't raised to disrespect my elders decisions, I was raised to let them make the decisions and what they say is final.
I know they feel that they are losing their little girl, but honestly I am just growing up.
Matthew 18:21 talks about forgiveness and how many times we need to forgive a person for their wrong doing or any argument that may have taken place. We must forgive more times than we can count. Honestly though, I feel like every time I forgive, I am just walked all over again and again.
Will there ever be a break in my frustration. When will I be able to not have a week of having an argument or disagreement. It would be so nice to just be calm.
I must admit that having Brett come into my life has been a miracle and the biggest blessing that I have ever experienced. He has been everything that I have needed at just the right time. God knew what he was doing when he opened that door for me back in September. I thank God everyday for how my life has changed.
I just feel like my parents aren't ready for the change, but yet they still agree with the changes that have taken place thus far. So it is confusing - they want to be selfish and keep me tied up under their roof, yet they want me to try and be an individual. I wish that they wouldn't try and control me quite so much and just be alright with the fact that I am a 23 yr old and not a 5 yr old.
Prayers are needed to help me keep my head up as I push through another summer of hard stress and tension.
~Rachel
Friday, June 11, 2010
Part 1
Here is chapter 1 of the book. Let me know what you think.
Chapter 1
She wasn't sure what to do anymore, he had left her world only a month and a half ago, and it was barely the middle of January now. What could she do? What would she do? She was lost, confused, upset, and torn. Angel never dreamed in her wildest dreams that her cowboy would die before they ever got the chance to start their dream ranch ~ "The Lucky Dream Ranch."
She spent hours and hours crying; how could that floor in the barn have given way so easily? Hadn't her cowboy boyfriend checked the floors before he loaded all the hay up there? She thought he had, but it must have been a soft spot that never showed up. It was Friday evening, Angel's cell phone rang with "I'm Already There" ring tone by Lonestar. She looked at the name and number, why did the name read Miles' name and his number if he was already dead from the accident. Angel thought for a moment, and then realized that his brother Rylee must have inherited the cell since Miles was no longer alive.
"Hello" answered Angel.
"Angel?" questioned Rylee on the other end.
"Yea, is this Rylee?"
"Yes ma'am it is" said Rylee in his husky Oklahoma accent. "I found an envelope tucked next to Miles' computer in his room while I was cleaning and sorting through his things. The envelope has your name on it."
"Oh?" said Angel in a surprised and confused voice. She wasn't sure quite how to take this. Why was there an envelope at her boyfriend's ranch, let alone his room, with his name on it? "What's in the evnelope Rylee?"
"I didn't open the envelope miss" Rylee replied quickly.
"Why not?" Angel sounded confused anad unsure of what was going on.
"Angel, on the back of the envelope, written in his handwriting it says 'To be opened only by Angel Watson'." Rylee paused for a moment as there was a silence on the other end of the linen. "You know I can't go against my brother's wishes Angel."
"I know..." Angel thought for a moment, not saying anything as she heard the wind howling on the other end of the line. She thought Rylee must be out in the pasture with Darby and the other horses he and his brother trained and worked with since they took part in the rodeo business - bull riding, bronc riding, calf roping, and their mowst cherished event: team roping.
"Angel, you know Miles would want you to open this envelop up." Rylee kept urging his brother's wonderful girlfriend to try and not loose all sense of reality. He knew she was taking his death extremely hard, but he knew that by her just sitting alone all day, she was on the road for severe depression and other horrendous things that he didn't even want to think about. "Why else do you think he would put that message on the back?"
"Ry, why don't you and Stephanie come up here to my place for a few days and bring the envelope and whatever else is mine that I might have left down at your place" offered Angel. She was thinking it would be good to have some sort of diversion. She and Stephanie had become almost like sisters, especially since Rylee and Stephanie had just gotten engaged in the past 2 weeks.
"Alright girl, what day were you thinking?"
"What about tomorrow?"
"That will work for us." Rylee knew Angel would come to her senses but he wasn't sure what the evnelope, that his brother had written, entailed. Rylee thought to himself 'it must be something important or something that is a surprise, because why else would he have it in here all sealed up?'
"See you tomorrow Ry, drive carefully please" Angel said as her traditional goodbye when she was talking to Rylee and his brother as well.
"We will, don't worry, you take care of yourself" replied Rylee. With those few words he closed his brother's cell phone and saw on the display screen on the front a picture of Miles and Angel and Angel was holding the brand new cold from Misty, which was now 7 months ago. "I miss you bro and so does your girl, she misses you so much" he said to himself even though he made it sound like he was talking with Miles right there in the pasture. Tears welled up in Rylee's eyes as he realized that he would never see that couple together ever again, he would never hear them laugh and tease, see them chase each other through the barn and fall into the huge watering tank in the heat of steamy Oklahoma summer. Sure his brother acted like a young colt chasing a young filly and wanting to just play forever but that picture on the front of the cell phone reminded him how mature, full of love, and proud his brother really was.
Rylee climbed up on the wooden fence that surrounded the cold and filly pasture next to the barn. He let the heels of his boots rest on one of the lower plants and propped his elbows up on his knees as he watched Misty's colt, George - a beatiful red quarter horse with a perfect white heart on his forehead and 2 white socks on his back legs, run around and chase the little filly around the pasture. The 2 baby horses reminded him instantly of his brother and Angel - carefree and full of life.
His head went into his handsj and he let a few tears come as he sat on the fence confused and upset that his brother was no longer going to be able to help him with the Lazy J Ranch down in the heart of Oklahoma. The warm sunshine helped relax Rylee a little bit, but it just wasn't the same as if his brother was there. He though about the afternoons they spent out on that very fence talking about rodeo, different horse breaking methods, the weather, Stephanie and Angel and everything that came along with having serious girlfriends, and many times they just sat in silence and watched the horses run.
Stephanie walked into the pusture and climbed up on the fence and sat next to Rylee.
"Is everything alright hun?" asked Stephanie as she turned and looked at her boyfriend and saw the remains of tears.
Rylee looked down at his hands that still held the cell phone. "I just got off the phone with Angel."
"You did" Stephanie sounded somewhat excited to hear that he still wasn't afraid to talk to his brother's girlfriend. "What did she say? How is she doing?" Stephanie couldn't get the words out fast enough and anytime someone talked to her the time was priceless.
Rylee looked over at Stephanie and put his arms around her and pulled her close. "She wants us to come up and stay with her for a few days. Plus, I foundn an evenlope in Miles' room today that had her name on it and Miles left a message on the front saying that only Angel is suppose to open it."
"Rylee, that is wonderful, I'd love to see her again!" Stephanie was so excited, but Rylee knew that it would be great to see Angel, but he also knew it would be extremely hard on all 3 of them because miles would be absent. "How long are we staying up there hunny?" Stephanie questioned as she searched Rylee's eyes which seemed to be full of emotion.
"Probably only a few days darlin', I don't want to overwhelm her." Rylee kissed Stephanie on the forehead and held her close wishing that ll the pain in his heart would go away. "Let's go get our clothes and get the truck, it's going to be a long trip." He hopped off the fence and turned to face Stephanie and held his arms out to catch her as she jumped down.
Inside the house, Rylee and Stephanie packed clothes for 3 days. Stephanie went out to put her things out in the truck as Rylee made one last trip to Miles' room. He found the envelope just where he had set it down on the top of the dresser and on the front it had his brother's handwriting on the front which spelled out his girlfriend's name:
~Angel Mae Watson~
The lettering was perfect, just like he remembered. His brother always took time with everything. Everything from writing a letter, to breaking a horse, to setting up the perfect date with his girlfriend. Rylee looked around the room for anything else that he might need to take. The picture on the wall. It was Miles and Angel's 1 year anniversary picture and they were seated on Misty, bareback, out by the creek. Miles had his usual Stetson on and Angel had her hair curled, both were dressed in their blue rodeo shirts that complimented each other, deep blue colored Wrangler jeans, and who could miss their boots. Rylee took the picture down and debated about taking it, he thought maybe he would ask Stephanie when she came back in what she thought would be best. He set the picture down on the bed, and realized that the quilt on the bed was one that Angel had made the summer when she and Miles were first dating, it had little horses, horseshoes, cowboy hats, boots, and spurs scattered creatively across it. He nonticed near the edge there was a rope that looped in lazy circles all the way around and in the bottom corner in one of the loops it said "Miles Justin Keith". He turned the quilt over and saw the worn jean material and realized that they were all the jeans Miles had destroyed in the rodeos form that summer, some of the jean spots had the pockets with the classic "W", and some had the "Wrangler" patch. Rylee looked around the room, the room was filled with stuff that Miles shared with Angel. "Miles, dude, how the hell am I suppose to know what to do with all of this?" He grumbled in frustration to himself in the overwhelming task that would lay ahead of him.
Just then Stephanie walked in. "Did you find everything to take to Angel's?" Stephanie saw the picture of Miles, Angel and Misty lying on the bed. She picked it up. "I always thought this was the most beautiful picture of both of them." A tear fell from Stephanie's eyes. "They were so happy and you can't fake that happiness" as Stephanie ran her fingers over the picture in the frame that was themed with Miles' cowboy room. "Let's take this with us when we go see Angel, I thinkn she will like to see this."
Rylee pulled Stephanie close and kissed the top of her head. "Alright, that sounds like a good idea. Here, put this with it" as he handed her the letter for Angel. "Let's get going, we have a long drive, I'll drive for a while."
Hope you enjoyed the story so far =) I have more written but I would really appreciate some feed back on what you think.
~Rachel
Chapter 1
She wasn't sure what to do anymore, he had left her world only a month and a half ago, and it was barely the middle of January now. What could she do? What would she do? She was lost, confused, upset, and torn. Angel never dreamed in her wildest dreams that her cowboy would die before they ever got the chance to start their dream ranch ~ "The Lucky Dream Ranch."
She spent hours and hours crying; how could that floor in the barn have given way so easily? Hadn't her cowboy boyfriend checked the floors before he loaded all the hay up there? She thought he had, but it must have been a soft spot that never showed up. It was Friday evening, Angel's cell phone rang with "I'm Already There" ring tone by Lonestar. She looked at the name and number, why did the name read Miles' name and his number if he was already dead from the accident. Angel thought for a moment, and then realized that his brother Rylee must have inherited the cell since Miles was no longer alive.
"Hello" answered Angel.
"Angel?" questioned Rylee on the other end.
"Yea, is this Rylee?"
"Yes ma'am it is" said Rylee in his husky Oklahoma accent. "I found an envelope tucked next to Miles' computer in his room while I was cleaning and sorting through his things. The envelope has your name on it."
"Oh?" said Angel in a surprised and confused voice. She wasn't sure quite how to take this. Why was there an envelope at her boyfriend's ranch, let alone his room, with his name on it? "What's in the evnelope Rylee?"
"I didn't open the envelope miss" Rylee replied quickly.
"Why not?" Angel sounded confused anad unsure of what was going on.
"Angel, on the back of the envelope, written in his handwriting it says 'To be opened only by Angel Watson'." Rylee paused for a moment as there was a silence on the other end of the linen. "You know I can't go against my brother's wishes Angel."
"I know..." Angel thought for a moment, not saying anything as she heard the wind howling on the other end of the line. She thought Rylee must be out in the pasture with Darby and the other horses he and his brother trained and worked with since they took part in the rodeo business - bull riding, bronc riding, calf roping, and their mowst cherished event: team roping.
"Angel, you know Miles would want you to open this envelop up." Rylee kept urging his brother's wonderful girlfriend to try and not loose all sense of reality. He knew she was taking his death extremely hard, but he knew that by her just sitting alone all day, she was on the road for severe depression and other horrendous things that he didn't even want to think about. "Why else do you think he would put that message on the back?"
"Ry, why don't you and Stephanie come up here to my place for a few days and bring the envelope and whatever else is mine that I might have left down at your place" offered Angel. She was thinking it would be good to have some sort of diversion. She and Stephanie had become almost like sisters, especially since Rylee and Stephanie had just gotten engaged in the past 2 weeks.
"Alright girl, what day were you thinking?"
"What about tomorrow?"
"That will work for us." Rylee knew Angel would come to her senses but he wasn't sure what the evnelope, that his brother had written, entailed. Rylee thought to himself 'it must be something important or something that is a surprise, because why else would he have it in here all sealed up?'
"See you tomorrow Ry, drive carefully please" Angel said as her traditional goodbye when she was talking to Rylee and his brother as well.
"We will, don't worry, you take care of yourself" replied Rylee. With those few words he closed his brother's cell phone and saw on the display screen on the front a picture of Miles and Angel and Angel was holding the brand new cold from Misty, which was now 7 months ago. "I miss you bro and so does your girl, she misses you so much" he said to himself even though he made it sound like he was talking with Miles right there in the pasture. Tears welled up in Rylee's eyes as he realized that he would never see that couple together ever again, he would never hear them laugh and tease, see them chase each other through the barn and fall into the huge watering tank in the heat of steamy Oklahoma summer. Sure his brother acted like a young colt chasing a young filly and wanting to just play forever but that picture on the front of the cell phone reminded him how mature, full of love, and proud his brother really was.
Rylee climbed up on the wooden fence that surrounded the cold and filly pasture next to the barn. He let the heels of his boots rest on one of the lower plants and propped his elbows up on his knees as he watched Misty's colt, George - a beatiful red quarter horse with a perfect white heart on his forehead and 2 white socks on his back legs, run around and chase the little filly around the pasture. The 2 baby horses reminded him instantly of his brother and Angel - carefree and full of life.
His head went into his handsj and he let a few tears come as he sat on the fence confused and upset that his brother was no longer going to be able to help him with the Lazy J Ranch down in the heart of Oklahoma. The warm sunshine helped relax Rylee a little bit, but it just wasn't the same as if his brother was there. He though about the afternoons they spent out on that very fence talking about rodeo, different horse breaking methods, the weather, Stephanie and Angel and everything that came along with having serious girlfriends, and many times they just sat in silence and watched the horses run.
Stephanie walked into the pusture and climbed up on the fence and sat next to Rylee.
"Is everything alright hun?" asked Stephanie as she turned and looked at her boyfriend and saw the remains of tears.
Rylee looked down at his hands that still held the cell phone. "I just got off the phone with Angel."
"You did" Stephanie sounded somewhat excited to hear that he still wasn't afraid to talk to his brother's girlfriend. "What did she say? How is she doing?" Stephanie couldn't get the words out fast enough and anytime someone talked to her the time was priceless.
Rylee looked over at Stephanie and put his arms around her and pulled her close. "She wants us to come up and stay with her for a few days. Plus, I foundn an evenlope in Miles' room today that had her name on it and Miles left a message on the front saying that only Angel is suppose to open it."
"Rylee, that is wonderful, I'd love to see her again!" Stephanie was so excited, but Rylee knew that it would be great to see Angel, but he also knew it would be extremely hard on all 3 of them because miles would be absent. "How long are we staying up there hunny?" Stephanie questioned as she searched Rylee's eyes which seemed to be full of emotion.
"Probably only a few days darlin', I don't want to overwhelm her." Rylee kissed Stephanie on the forehead and held her close wishing that ll the pain in his heart would go away. "Let's go get our clothes and get the truck, it's going to be a long trip." He hopped off the fence and turned to face Stephanie and held his arms out to catch her as she jumped down.
Inside the house, Rylee and Stephanie packed clothes for 3 days. Stephanie went out to put her things out in the truck as Rylee made one last trip to Miles' room. He found the envelope just where he had set it down on the top of the dresser and on the front it had his brother's handwriting on the front which spelled out his girlfriend's name:
~Angel Mae Watson~
The lettering was perfect, just like he remembered. His brother always took time with everything. Everything from writing a letter, to breaking a horse, to setting up the perfect date with his girlfriend. Rylee looked around the room for anything else that he might need to take. The picture on the wall. It was Miles and Angel's 1 year anniversary picture and they were seated on Misty, bareback, out by the creek. Miles had his usual Stetson on and Angel had her hair curled, both were dressed in their blue rodeo shirts that complimented each other, deep blue colored Wrangler jeans, and who could miss their boots. Rylee took the picture down and debated about taking it, he thought maybe he would ask Stephanie when she came back in what she thought would be best. He set the picture down on the bed, and realized that the quilt on the bed was one that Angel had made the summer when she and Miles were first dating, it had little horses, horseshoes, cowboy hats, boots, and spurs scattered creatively across it. He nonticed near the edge there was a rope that looped in lazy circles all the way around and in the bottom corner in one of the loops it said "Miles Justin Keith". He turned the quilt over and saw the worn jean material and realized that they were all the jeans Miles had destroyed in the rodeos form that summer, some of the jean spots had the pockets with the classic "W", and some had the "Wrangler" patch. Rylee looked around the room, the room was filled with stuff that Miles shared with Angel. "Miles, dude, how the hell am I suppose to know what to do with all of this?" He grumbled in frustration to himself in the overwhelming task that would lay ahead of him.
Just then Stephanie walked in. "Did you find everything to take to Angel's?" Stephanie saw the picture of Miles, Angel and Misty lying on the bed. She picked it up. "I always thought this was the most beautiful picture of both of them." A tear fell from Stephanie's eyes. "They were so happy and you can't fake that happiness" as Stephanie ran her fingers over the picture in the frame that was themed with Miles' cowboy room. "Let's take this with us when we go see Angel, I thinkn she will like to see this."
Rylee pulled Stephanie close and kissed the top of her head. "Alright, that sounds like a good idea. Here, put this with it" as he handed her the letter for Angel. "Let's get going, we have a long drive, I'll drive for a while."
Hope you enjoyed the story so far =) I have more written but I would really appreciate some feed back on what you think.
~Rachel
Thursday, June 10, 2010
My Book
Alright, so I have not made this super public, but I have been working on a book for about a year or so. I am still in the process of writing it but I would like some input. I will make several separate posts - such as what I want to use as the back summary and some actual excerpts from the book.
The reason I started writing this book was because I was inspired by a very good friend of mine. I am sure that I will write another book at some point as well. But I figured I need to finish this one.
The title is Riding on the Wings of Horses
The back jacket of the book:
Angel Watson who is 21 years old, is confronted with the realities of life on an Oklahoma Ranch. She has been making plans to move south and start her life with her boyfriend Miles Keith until she hears news of his death. Should she just stay at her home in Michigan or should she move south and try and help out on the ranch where Miles lived. A cowgirl must face all sorts of unexpected events. Angel must learn how to COWGIRL UP through the death of Miles.
Many of us feel like giving up on life when our best friend leaves this world. Join Angel as she learns to cope with life without Miles.
The reason I started writing this book was because I was inspired by a very good friend of mine. I am sure that I will write another book at some point as well. But I figured I need to finish this one.
The title is Riding on the Wings of Horses
The back jacket of the book:
Angel Watson who is 21 years old, is confronted with the realities of life on an Oklahoma Ranch. She has been making plans to move south and start her life with her boyfriend Miles Keith until she hears news of his death. Should she just stay at her home in Michigan or should she move south and try and help out on the ranch where Miles lived. A cowgirl must face all sorts of unexpected events. Angel must learn how to COWGIRL UP through the death of Miles.
Many of us feel like giving up on life when our best friend leaves this world. Join Angel as she learns to cope with life without Miles.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
question for all of you
So, I have been working on a novel/short story. Well it has been in the works for quite a while and I was wondering if you all would like little excerpts or would like to know what it is about. Please let me know and I will respond. Please spread the word to your friends so I can figure out the next step of action.
~Rachel
~Rachel
Friday, May 28, 2010
Frustration
Are there times when you just want to give up on life all together? Are there times when you feel like nothing is going to work ever? Do you feel like nothing in life is ever going to work?
Well that is what I have felt like for the past year pretty much while living here at home. It never fails that arguments arise because I don't do things like my parents want it done. They think my time spent with the ones who matter the most in my life should be limited to just a couple days a week. It drives me to tears.
They think that just because I work with Brett that I don't need to see him as much. Also they think that I am crabby and grouchy and that it takes me too many days to recuperate from being gone. They also think that I can't take care of my own life.
This all bothers me because I do know how to take care of myself. I am not grouchy, they just push my buttons and think that I need to be happy 100% of the time and that being mad is not allowed. Also, working at the same place as Brett is in no way the same as spending quality time with him because 9 times out of 10 I never see Brett during the day and we can't be a couple at work because we are there to work.
I am frustrated as to what to do, because about 8 months ago, they told me I could do whatever I wanted and now they are telling me that I can't do what I want. It is so confusing. For pities sake I am 23 years old, I just happen to live at home because I am finishing up school. I am so sick of them thinking that they can live their life through me and that I need to do everything exactly the way they did and that I only can do what they say is allowed and not venture out to be my own person.
I feel many times while I am here in Belding that I am being hollered at and not given the chance to really show who I really am. As Brett is always telling me, my parents are missing out on who I really am because they are controlling my life. I am so close to just giving up on my parents because it seems no matter what I do it is never right.
I know the Lord has it all in hand, but right now it sure feels like everything is falling down.
~Rachel
Well that is what I have felt like for the past year pretty much while living here at home. It never fails that arguments arise because I don't do things like my parents want it done. They think my time spent with the ones who matter the most in my life should be limited to just a couple days a week. It drives me to tears.
They think that just because I work with Brett that I don't need to see him as much. Also they think that I am crabby and grouchy and that it takes me too many days to recuperate from being gone. They also think that I can't take care of my own life.
This all bothers me because I do know how to take care of myself. I am not grouchy, they just push my buttons and think that I need to be happy 100% of the time and that being mad is not allowed. Also, working at the same place as Brett is in no way the same as spending quality time with him because 9 times out of 10 I never see Brett during the day and we can't be a couple at work because we are there to work.
I am frustrated as to what to do, because about 8 months ago, they told me I could do whatever I wanted and now they are telling me that I can't do what I want. It is so confusing. For pities sake I am 23 years old, I just happen to live at home because I am finishing up school. I am so sick of them thinking that they can live their life through me and that I need to do everything exactly the way they did and that I only can do what they say is allowed and not venture out to be my own person.
I feel many times while I am here in Belding that I am being hollered at and not given the chance to really show who I really am. As Brett is always telling me, my parents are missing out on who I really am because they are controlling my life. I am so close to just giving up on my parents because it seems no matter what I do it is never right.
I know the Lord has it all in hand, but right now it sure feels like everything is falling down.
~Rachel
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Some Thoughts cuz I can't sleep yet
I know that I should be in bed right about now because I have to be up and on the road to go up north again, but I can't. I am in the middle of messaging Brett and he is updating me on how the truck is having bad mood swings (as I call them). This is very discouraging to him and me as well. We use his truck for so many different things and he is getting frustrated and almost angry at all that has gone into that vehicle and it keeps not working properly. We are taking the truck up north in the morning and I am nervous about how the trip will go even though I know that God will keep us safe if we put our trust in him first.
I was doing some reading in one of my devotional books and it was talking about putting trust in God first instead of in man. That is something I struggle with (as we all probably do). I just need to keep my chin up and pray that God will have his arms around us while we travel. I know from personal experience that I have felt the arms of the Lord around me many times before, and the time that sticks out the most is when I had a car accident in the middle of winter that should have killed me. But I am still alive, and here to tell about it. I also keep in mind that God never puts us in a situation that we can not handle. There have been many times where I wonder why I have to deal with certain things, but then I realize later on down the road that they happened for a reason.
Many times I wonder if this truck issue is just a test on how well we can handle the stress and everything that comes with vehicles in our relationship and still remember to give our problems to God and he will help us with the answers because he knows them all. I pray that God will keep his mighty arms around us once again as we make our journey to Big Star Lake with a truck that is getting older and is struggling to keep on living, and that he will give the truck wings to fly strong to the lake and back.
~Rachel
I was doing some reading in one of my devotional books and it was talking about putting trust in God first instead of in man. That is something I struggle with (as we all probably do). I just need to keep my chin up and pray that God will have his arms around us while we travel. I know from personal experience that I have felt the arms of the Lord around me many times before, and the time that sticks out the most is when I had a car accident in the middle of winter that should have killed me. But I am still alive, and here to tell about it. I also keep in mind that God never puts us in a situation that we can not handle. There have been many times where I wonder why I have to deal with certain things, but then I realize later on down the road that they happened for a reason.
Many times I wonder if this truck issue is just a test on how well we can handle the stress and everything that comes with vehicles in our relationship and still remember to give our problems to God and he will help us with the answers because he knows them all. I pray that God will keep his mighty arms around us once again as we make our journey to Big Star Lake with a truck that is getting older and is struggling to keep on living, and that he will give the truck wings to fly strong to the lake and back.
~Rachel
Sunday, April 25, 2010
When you hear someone tell you the words "I love you" what comes to your mind? Does it make your heart flutter? Does it make you feel like you are flying on the clouds? Does it make your eyes get all misty? Have you ever wondered what is going through the person's mind who is saying those words?
I have wondered what is going through their mind all the time. I wonder what it is that makes them love me so much. I wonder if there are times where they don't love me. I wonder why it is me out of all the people in the world that they decided to fall in love with.
Tonight was a hard night for me. I had been talking with my mom about clothing and since I am a super tomboy and country girl, dressing up is not easy for me by any means. It takes me quite a while to do and its hard. I was also mentally struggling with the fact that I don't get all dressed up enough for my man. I got myself all freaked out that I wasn't doing the best I could in terms of looking girly enough for him. He and I were talking tonight and after about an hour of talking and me tearing up several times, he looked down at me (with his super soft dark blue/green eyes) and he said "You know I love you" and with that he put his hand on my face and just held me there. Hearing him say that was like a big dam of inner feelings and everything had just let loose. He has been able to make me feel more and more comfortable with everything and every once in a while there are little things that are so minor (that I take personally) that get me all tangled up inside. Its so crazy because the big problems in life I can handle pretty well, but the little dilemas tend to trip me up way more.
I have been so blessed to have him in my life. Many times I wonder how he can love a crazy country girl like me who would rather be living in wranglers and boots and a tshirt almost all of the time with my hair pulled back. I wonder so many times because this relationship I don't want to mess up. I have messed enough up in my life that was so hard for me to get through and now I don't want that to happen with this. I wake up every morning wondering if I will wake up from this wonderful time and realize its all a dream. I don't want to have this be a dream. I want to be his for forever. I just need to get through it all and with his help and love but even more I need the help of God to get us through.
I don't deserve unconditional love, but then again, none of us do. How is it possible to love more and more every single day? I have no idea, but I do find a way to love him more and more every single day.
~Rachel
I have wondered what is going through their mind all the time. I wonder what it is that makes them love me so much. I wonder if there are times where they don't love me. I wonder why it is me out of all the people in the world that they decided to fall in love with.
Tonight was a hard night for me. I had been talking with my mom about clothing and since I am a super tomboy and country girl, dressing up is not easy for me by any means. It takes me quite a while to do and its hard. I was also mentally struggling with the fact that I don't get all dressed up enough for my man. I got myself all freaked out that I wasn't doing the best I could in terms of looking girly enough for him. He and I were talking tonight and after about an hour of talking and me tearing up several times, he looked down at me (with his super soft dark blue/green eyes) and he said "You know I love you" and with that he put his hand on my face and just held me there. Hearing him say that was like a big dam of inner feelings and everything had just let loose. He has been able to make me feel more and more comfortable with everything and every once in a while there are little things that are so minor (that I take personally) that get me all tangled up inside. Its so crazy because the big problems in life I can handle pretty well, but the little dilemas tend to trip me up way more.
I have been so blessed to have him in my life. Many times I wonder how he can love a crazy country girl like me who would rather be living in wranglers and boots and a tshirt almost all of the time with my hair pulled back. I wonder so many times because this relationship I don't want to mess up. I have messed enough up in my life that was so hard for me to get through and now I don't want that to happen with this. I wake up every morning wondering if I will wake up from this wonderful time and realize its all a dream. I don't want to have this be a dream. I want to be his for forever. I just need to get through it all and with his help and love but even more I need the help of God to get us through.
I don't deserve unconditional love, but then again, none of us do. How is it possible to love more and more every single day? I have no idea, but I do find a way to love him more and more every single day.
~Rachel
Thursday, April 22, 2010
My Golden year in a review
Last year was my golden birthday (for those of you who don't know what a golden birthday is, it is your age is the same as the day number - ex: April 22 and 22 years old). Well is I was born on April 22, 1987 so last year was my golden birthday and I turned 22.
I was not expecting a huge amount of interesting things to happen since the years before weren't super exciting. Well I was hugely mistaken since my year took a totally different turn than what I was expecting.
April 22, 2009 - my 22nd birthday, nothing big happened other than a normal day
April 27, 2009 - I started working at Frederik Meijer Gardens as a part of the summer horticulture staff - a world class known horticulture site! I met the most wonderful people there - Gabe, Ana, Koree, Ian, Rick, Ed, Wendy, Rachel, Lucy, Rose, Scott, Joe and Steve and all of the volunteers who are too numerous to name. They were not only friendly but they also cared about how me as an individual and what was going on in my life. They helped influence my horticulture study and teach me so many new things about plants and the world that the Lord had created. I was also able to see a great country name in concert - Kenny Rogers! This was also my internship for my Michigan State program. This was also the 5th year anniversary of the Lena Meijer Children's Garden in which I constructed many of the structures that were present in the garden - a carousel, a floral birthday cake, and Alice in Wonderland topiaries. I also help construct the front East Beltline entrance with 7,500 annuals in 8 hours!
Summer 2009 - Andrea Doty and I went horseback riding about once a week to pass the time. We had a wonderful time enjoying the fresh air outdoors and time with eachother and wonderful creatures of love, heart, and spirit (horses).
August 29, 2009 - My time at Frederik Meijer Gardens was completed. I can truly say that it was the most wonderful time I have had at a summer job.
August 31, 2009 - I started class through Michigan State at Calvin College. It was so wonderful to see all of my friends again. I got to class a little early and met one of my friends - Brett Tiggleman - he was there early and we were talking out in the parking lot (at that point I had no idea what would become of that day talking)
September 22, 2009 - My life officially changed (for the better). Brett and I decided to start dating. We had been talking over the weeks prior and we decided that maybe we could give things a try.
October - November 2009 - We began a landscaping project to relandscape his parents front yard in Zeeland. We have most of everything done except putting the plants in.
December 20, 2009 - I got the promise of a lifetime - the most georgous promise ring in the world for the most amazing man in the world! I couldn't believe it, but he promised that in the future when we were ready he would ask that big question, but for the time being this was to be a symbol that he would always be there for me and that I would always be his.
February - April, 2010 - Brett and I have been remodeling his parents trailer up in Baldwin...this is a major test for us to take on. We are almost all the way complete in our remodeling project of the kitchen, living room and hallway.
April 14, 2010 - I met with the council of our church to give them my testimony and I am going to make profession of faith in the church in the next month or so (my testimony is in one of my other posts on here)
April 21, 2010 - The last day of my golden year. I looked back and realized how wonderful of a year that it was! So many things happened that were not expected. They were miracles and gifts from God. I did not include my normal everyday times of going to class, or staying at home, or holidays when we get together with family just like everyone in the world does, I just decided to give some high lights that were not like every other year of my life.
I am truly blessed to have everyone in my life that has been a part of my life this past year. Today marks the beginning of a new year. We shall see what takes place this year. I don't know what will take place in this next year, but based on this past year I don't know what could top these past events. I take each day at a time. Each day is a gift from God. I plan to live each day to its full potential!
~Rachel
I was not expecting a huge amount of interesting things to happen since the years before weren't super exciting. Well I was hugely mistaken since my year took a totally different turn than what I was expecting.
April 22, 2009 - my 22nd birthday, nothing big happened other than a normal day
April 27, 2009 - I started working at Frederik Meijer Gardens as a part of the summer horticulture staff - a world class known horticulture site! I met the most wonderful people there - Gabe, Ana, Koree, Ian, Rick, Ed, Wendy, Rachel, Lucy, Rose, Scott, Joe and Steve and all of the volunteers who are too numerous to name. They were not only friendly but they also cared about how me as an individual and what was going on in my life. They helped influence my horticulture study and teach me so many new things about plants and the world that the Lord had created. I was also able to see a great country name in concert - Kenny Rogers! This was also my internship for my Michigan State program. This was also the 5th year anniversary of the Lena Meijer Children's Garden in which I constructed many of the structures that were present in the garden - a carousel, a floral birthday cake, and Alice in Wonderland topiaries. I also help construct the front East Beltline entrance with 7,500 annuals in 8 hours!
Summer 2009 - Andrea Doty and I went horseback riding about once a week to pass the time. We had a wonderful time enjoying the fresh air outdoors and time with eachother and wonderful creatures of love, heart, and spirit (horses).
August 29, 2009 - My time at Frederik Meijer Gardens was completed. I can truly say that it was the most wonderful time I have had at a summer job.
August 31, 2009 - I started class through Michigan State at Calvin College. It was so wonderful to see all of my friends again. I got to class a little early and met one of my friends - Brett Tiggleman - he was there early and we were talking out in the parking lot (at that point I had no idea what would become of that day talking)
September 22, 2009 - My life officially changed (for the better). Brett and I decided to start dating. We had been talking over the weeks prior and we decided that maybe we could give things a try.
October - November 2009 - We began a landscaping project to relandscape his parents front yard in Zeeland. We have most of everything done except putting the plants in.
December 20, 2009 - I got the promise of a lifetime - the most georgous promise ring in the world for the most amazing man in the world! I couldn't believe it, but he promised that in the future when we were ready he would ask that big question, but for the time being this was to be a symbol that he would always be there for me and that I would always be his.
February - April, 2010 - Brett and I have been remodeling his parents trailer up in Baldwin...this is a major test for us to take on. We are almost all the way complete in our remodeling project of the kitchen, living room and hallway.
April 14, 2010 - I met with the council of our church to give them my testimony and I am going to make profession of faith in the church in the next month or so (my testimony is in one of my other posts on here)
April 21, 2010 - The last day of my golden year. I looked back and realized how wonderful of a year that it was! So many things happened that were not expected. They were miracles and gifts from God. I did not include my normal everyday times of going to class, or staying at home, or holidays when we get together with family just like everyone in the world does, I just decided to give some high lights that were not like every other year of my life.
I am truly blessed to have everyone in my life that has been a part of my life this past year. Today marks the beginning of a new year. We shall see what takes place this year. I don't know what will take place in this next year, but based on this past year I don't know what could top these past events. I take each day at a time. Each day is a gift from God. I plan to live each day to its full potential!
~Rachel
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Faith
This past week I officially joined our church - Oakwood Christian Reformed Church. I went to the council and made my testimony to them and shared with them my views and everything based on my faith. I have made my profession of faith to them (just not in front of the church yet).
Here is my testimony:
During my growing up years, I was raised in a Christian environment - home, school, and church. I was never challenged in my faith or lifestyle while I was still living at home. I went on to go to school at Northwestern College in Iowa where I was tested in every way. I was provided with a Christian family to work for (which was a dairy farm that taught me so much about life). The second year I was out there for school, my grandpa passed away just after I had left to begin school. This traumatized me. I had to make a quick trip back home with my friend Kayla's car. I didn't want to go back to school. I felt like there was no point in it. I felt like my world had crashed and burned. I was struggling in school. I was struggling in running. I felt so alone. At that time I was also feeling like I was not good at much of anything other than milking cows. I spent 4 summers working for a county park in which my good work ethic ended up being taken advantage of by the time I was done working there after 4 summers. I went to work and worked hard because I didn't have hardly anything else going for me at the time. My days consisted of getting up, going to work, coming home and either napping or bedtime, eating dinner, and being alone in my room. I didn't do much with friends or anything at all. My 3rd year in college I had to come back home to Montcalm Community College because my grades went in the toilet at Northwestern. I felt like a complete failure because I wanted to go into Forestry, but since my grades were so bad I was not able to do that. So I had to rethink my plan. I thought about maybe doing agriculture. I kept taking more general classes at Montcalm Community College even though I had no idea where God was taking me. The following summer (my last one at the county park) a friend of mine from church gave me a pamphlet about a landscaping program through Michigan State University. I thought to myself "God, what are you trying to tell me now?" I was like what the heck, it can't get any worse than it already is. I applied for the program a few weeks before the fall and got accepted right away. I started the program and passed all the classes with flying colors. Finally an area where I can succeed. God is giving me some sort of direction where I am not failing at everything I try. I finished that school year out and missed the classes just after they finished up. I decided that during that summer I would do my internship. I had originally been considering going out of state, but that never fell through. My advisor had suggested I try Frederik Meijer Gardens and got in right away. The moment I walked into the place, I knew instantly I was in the place I was suppose to be working. I knew God was up to something but I wasn't sure what it was. The employees that I worked with that summer where not only friendly but they also cared about who I was as an individual. They were also good Christian people. I finally realized how much I was missing while I had been working at the county park. I started up the next school year (which is hopefully my last) I met the man of my dreams. He had been in my classes last year as well. I hadn't expected God to put a man into my life since I was already stressed and confused about where he was taking me, but apparently I needed that extra shoulder to lean on. The man he sent into my life was exactly what I had been looking for, and everything I needed - a God-fearing man who could handle me through the thick and thin of life. I have been also working on being more diligent with doing daily devotions and applying them to my day. It has made such a difference. Also, with someone else to help me along the way and be in the same spot I am has made so much of a difference. God is so full of surprises and miracles! My life has not been easy once I started dating, but it made me realize that I was not in control of anything - I had to let God handle every little bit. It has made a huge difference, not fighting against his plan makes life not only more interesting but so much nicer to live through. I know life still won't be tough but I know that without the help of God and without Jesus coming to this earth to save us from my since, I won't be able to make it to eternity. And I want to live in eternity. He is my personal Savior.
I know that is long, but that is my testimony of what I have been through. So many people have been an influence in my life I can not list all of them. You know who you are and I thank God for putting you in my life.
~Rachel
Here is my testimony:
During my growing up years, I was raised in a Christian environment - home, school, and church. I was never challenged in my faith or lifestyle while I was still living at home. I went on to go to school at Northwestern College in Iowa where I was tested in every way. I was provided with a Christian family to work for (which was a dairy farm that taught me so much about life). The second year I was out there for school, my grandpa passed away just after I had left to begin school. This traumatized me. I had to make a quick trip back home with my friend Kayla's car. I didn't want to go back to school. I felt like there was no point in it. I felt like my world had crashed and burned. I was struggling in school. I was struggling in running. I felt so alone. At that time I was also feeling like I was not good at much of anything other than milking cows. I spent 4 summers working for a county park in which my good work ethic ended up being taken advantage of by the time I was done working there after 4 summers. I went to work and worked hard because I didn't have hardly anything else going for me at the time. My days consisted of getting up, going to work, coming home and either napping or bedtime, eating dinner, and being alone in my room. I didn't do much with friends or anything at all. My 3rd year in college I had to come back home to Montcalm Community College because my grades went in the toilet at Northwestern. I felt like a complete failure because I wanted to go into Forestry, but since my grades were so bad I was not able to do that. So I had to rethink my plan. I thought about maybe doing agriculture. I kept taking more general classes at Montcalm Community College even though I had no idea where God was taking me. The following summer (my last one at the county park) a friend of mine from church gave me a pamphlet about a landscaping program through Michigan State University. I thought to myself "God, what are you trying to tell me now?" I was like what the heck, it can't get any worse than it already is. I applied for the program a few weeks before the fall and got accepted right away. I started the program and passed all the classes with flying colors. Finally an area where I can succeed. God is giving me some sort of direction where I am not failing at everything I try. I finished that school year out and missed the classes just after they finished up. I decided that during that summer I would do my internship. I had originally been considering going out of state, but that never fell through. My advisor had suggested I try Frederik Meijer Gardens and got in right away. The moment I walked into the place, I knew instantly I was in the place I was suppose to be working. I knew God was up to something but I wasn't sure what it was. The employees that I worked with that summer where not only friendly but they also cared about who I was as an individual. They were also good Christian people. I finally realized how much I was missing while I had been working at the county park. I started up the next school year (which is hopefully my last) I met the man of my dreams. He had been in my classes last year as well. I hadn't expected God to put a man into my life since I was already stressed and confused about where he was taking me, but apparently I needed that extra shoulder to lean on. The man he sent into my life was exactly what I had been looking for, and everything I needed - a God-fearing man who could handle me through the thick and thin of life. I have been also working on being more diligent with doing daily devotions and applying them to my day. It has made such a difference. Also, with someone else to help me along the way and be in the same spot I am has made so much of a difference. God is so full of surprises and miracles! My life has not been easy once I started dating, but it made me realize that I was not in control of anything - I had to let God handle every little bit. It has made a huge difference, not fighting against his plan makes life not only more interesting but so much nicer to live through. I know life still won't be tough but I know that without the help of God and without Jesus coming to this earth to save us from my since, I won't be able to make it to eternity. And I want to live in eternity. He is my personal Savior.
I know that is long, but that is my testimony of what I have been through. So many people have been an influence in my life I can not list all of them. You know who you are and I thank God for putting you in my life.
~Rachel
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
First Posting
Well, I have decided to try posting on a different site since the other one I have done does not seem to allow for viewing of my friends and whatnot. So this is my next attempt. I felt that posting on facebook was not in my league and so if you like me to email you a notice of when I post on here or whatever just let me know. I will keep you all updated with all sorts of things =)
~Rachel
~Rachel
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