Frustration

Are there times when you just want to give up on life all together? Are there times when you feel like nothing is going to work ever? Do you feel like nothing in life is ever going to work?

Well that is what I have felt like for the past year pretty much while living here at home. It never fails that arguments arise because I don't do things like my parents want it done. They think my time spent with the ones who matter the most in my life should be limited to just a couple days a week. It drives me to tears.

They think that just because I work with Brett that I don't need to see him as much. Also they think that I am crabby and grouchy and that it takes me too many days to recuperate from being gone. They also think that I can't take care of my own life.

This all bothers me because I do know how to take care of myself. I am not grouchy, they just push my buttons and think that I need to be happy 100% of the time and that being mad is not allowed. Also, working at the same place as Brett is in no way the same as spending quality time with him because 9 times out of 10 I never see Brett during the day and we can't be a couple at work because we are there to work.

I am frustrated as to what to do, because about 8 months ago, they told me I could do whatever I wanted and now they are telling me that I can't do what I want. It is so confusing. For pities sake I am 23 years old, I just happen to live at home because I am finishing up school. I am so sick of them thinking that they can live their life through me and that I need to do everything exactly the way they did and that I only can do what they say is allowed and not venture out to be my own person.

I feel many times while I am here in Belding that I am being hollered at and not given the chance to really show who I really am. As Brett is always telling me, my parents are missing out on who I really am because they are controlling my life. I am so close to just giving up on my parents because it seems no matter what I do it is never right.

I know the Lord has it all in hand, but right now it sure feels like everything is falling down.

~Rachel