Are there times when you just want to give up on life all together? Are there times when you feel like nothing is going to work ever? Do you feel like nothing in life is ever going to work?
Well that is what I have felt like for the past year pretty much while living here at home. It never fails that arguments arise because I don't do things like my parents want it done. They think my time spent with the ones who matter the most in my life should be limited to just a couple days a week. It drives me to tears.
They think that just because I work with Brett that I don't need to see him as much. Also they think that I am crabby and grouchy and that it takes me too many days to recuperate from being gone. They also think that I can't take care of my own life.
This all bothers me because I do know how to take care of myself. I am not grouchy, they just push my buttons and think that I need to be happy 100% of the time and that being mad is not allowed. Also, working at the same place as Brett is in no way the same as spending quality time with him because 9 times out of 10 I never see Brett during the day and we can't be a couple at work because we are there to work.
I am frustrated as to what to do, because about 8 months ago, they told me I could do whatever I wanted and now they are telling me that I can't do what I want. It is so confusing. For pities sake I am 23 years old, I just happen to live at home because I am finishing up school. I am so sick of them thinking that they can live their life through me and that I need to do everything exactly the way they did and that I only can do what they say is allowed and not venture out to be my own person.
I feel many times while I am here in Belding that I am being hollered at and not given the chance to really show who I really am. As Brett is always telling me, my parents are missing out on who I really am because they are controlling my life. I am so close to just giving up on my parents because it seems no matter what I do it is never right.
I know the Lord has it all in hand, but right now it sure feels like everything is falling down.
~Rachel
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Wow...Sounds exactly like my mom! Trying to control everything, that I'm rude, that I don't do anything and that I don't care about anyone but Mike! I finally got out of the house for a few months and I'm looking foward to being away!
ReplyDeleteRachel - Hope you don't mind if I post - I found your blog through Carrie's and have really enjoyed reading it.
ReplyDeleteA big part of your problem is it just doesn't work for three adults to live in one house - and it's really hard for parents to realize that that's exactly what you are - an adult. Ideally, they should just let you live there without interferring at all in your life - but that's tough to do. I'll pray for patience and wisdom for you. Hang tough and some day soon you'll be out on your own!!
First of all don’t say that you want to give up. That kind of talk just scares me! I grew up in a non loving home, but have married into a very loving family. It has changed my life and I have changed so much for the best.
ReplyDeleteI can tell that you are very frustrated and I’ve seen some of that frustration from you. Please remember that talking is key to working out any problem, yelling has never solved anything but saying things out of spite and then ends up making everyone feel bad.
I’m really hoping that your parents are just thinking of your best interests and don’t want to see you do something that may hurt you. But how are you going to learn if you aren’t let to do things for yourself. They do seem to be very hard on you kids and many of us feel that if they keep pushing you guys so hard they will loose you. Please don’t let that happen. I’ve talked to your mom and I do know she loves you very much.
You are more then old enough to do your own thing. Work time with your future husband is not quality time and it is very important for you guys to be together. Things will be so much better after you are out of the house and on your own. You’ll see!
Love you,